I've been on the fence about posting this. Not sure why. Still trying to figure out what I'm afraid of. But, I can't help it. It's what I'm feeling at this moment and have been off and on all week. While, I love my parents to death. They are the best parents anyone can have, or for that matter, any Asian children's dream parents. I say that because, really, they aren't your atypical Asian parents that scoff when you tell them you want to major in Art or Music. They fully understand the American culture as they grew up in the American culture.
But, needless to say, their parents did not and they often at times, display the atypical Asian parents personalities because it's what they know and grew up with.
Here's why.
In highschool and throughout college, I wasn’t the athletic
type of person. I was more of a girl that participated in clubs and sororities.
For a few months however, I was on the track and field of my Varsity Highschool
Team, but I had no idea what the hell I was doing. All I knew then, was that I
enjoyed running. So, it just seemed logical to join the Track Team.
I quickly discovered that the Track Team was all about
sprinters. I was far from being a sprinter. The only time I think I was ahead
of my team was during a practice session around the track . Everybody was doing
an easy “jog” around the field while I was treating it as if it was a race.Yeah, don't know what I was thinking.
What I should have done was join the cross country team.
Dammit.
I had a few meets and was quite saddened that my parents
didn’t really show any support by attending any of my meets or even inquire
about my running. It saddened me, but I moved on.
Well, here I am again. The feelings I’m feeling are all too
well known to me. I’m heartbroken. Sad. Deflated. Curious and Intrigued.
Intrigued and Curious because I’m wondering why they don’t
even ask how my training is coming along or in fact how my marathon went
knowing that I participated in on one just recently.
Deflated because they laugh when I told them that I did two
half marathons and wonder why I do such a thing. Their question to me was, “
Why do you do these?”
Sad because I would love their support.
Heartbroken because I wished that they would on their own
come to the races that are local and cheer me on.
I realize that I’m not a teenager no longer, but I still
long for the support of my family. When I see parents, siblings, in laws,
cousins, aunts, uncles come and show their support for their beloved family
member with a huge glittery sign and shouting out, “ You Can Do It” with so
much enthusiasm it makes me a bit envious that I had the same type of support
group as well.
Don't get me wrong. I have a wonderful support of friends that keep me going and ofcourse, all of you guys, too! Plus, I do have an uncle, who is my mom's brother that runs marathons and he attempted to come out to the race during the Nike Women's in SF since he lives in SF, but we just couldn't get a hold of each other post race. I hate the fact that after post races, the cell phone lines are all tied up that its very difficult to text or call someone.
And my parents thoroughly support me in any way they can, it just can suck when every now and then you aren't really taken seriously when you tell them all about your latest passion in life.
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9 comments:
I'm SAD for you! My parents and sisters are my ultimate supporters. Thank goodness for great friends and fellow bloggers! My husbands parents sound much like yours. His mom obviously loves him but never even made it to one of his high school games!
I hear you. My mom is not the most supportive person and as kids, even if we are grown up kids, we still want our parents' support. I've pretty much given up seeking her support because I know that all I get back is negativity. I'm sorry for you that your parents don't support you. Have you tried telling them how much it would mean to you if they came to one of your races. I'm sure much of it is cultural...perhaps if they knew you wanted them there they would come???
My parents still think my running is kind of frivolous! I've never been thought of as being much of an athlete in my family so my running has always been seen as a "hobby." So, even though my hobby has lasted over 25 years, they still don't take me seriously! Oh well, I love and that's what counts. Sounds like you do too! Keep up the excellent attitude!
As a person with Asian heritage (my mother is Japanese) I know where you are coming from. Try to please yourself first. I think once they see that you are happy they will come around. They may never be supportive and be your fans, but at least they won't get in the way.
By the way - even today I wouldn't rate my wife and family as "fans" of running. They're supportive, but fans? Not so much....
Ad your question about swapping shoes? I swap every other day so I can let the other pair dry out. I sweat. A lot.....
Stacy. I know all about wanting that support from your parents. I've been seeking acceptance all my life. Tell them how you feel next time when you have a race. When i was rowing, I was in 15 different ragattas and 5 finals... my parents never asked me how it went. When i finally asked them.. they said it was because i never asked them to come out? Asian parents are something else! haha
I completely understand...I was not an athlete in high school, college, or most of my life. When I started running 4 years ago, my parents thought it was interesting, but I'd started LOTS of exercise regimens over the years (none stuck), but I knew running was different. Anyway, I'd do races, they'd never say much. Sometimes they'd ask me how it went, but not often.
I think one of the most exciting moments came after I finished my first (and thus far only) marathon. My mom called me! She told me she'd been tracking me online and knew that I'd finished and wanted to call and make sure I was OK. She said that she even cheered a little when she knew I'd crossed the finish line.
To this day, my parents have never come to a race (including two weeks ago in Vegas, where they live...although I guess I can't blame 'em...It was pretty cold...), but I guess there's a part of me that knows they care. They don't run, so they probably don't really know how much it would mean to me if they were actually AT a race...maybe I should tell them.
Isn't it funny how we never grow up about this (I'm 47 BTW...LOL).
you should invite them to a race...maybe a short one like a 5K or a 10K. my parents are the same way. they don't "get it" but i asked them to come to my duathlon and they did and they cheered and took pics and everything. i think they need to experience the race atmosphere and see other families supporting each other.
Bern
::hugs:: I can so relate to the woes of having Asian parents. ::deep sigh::
Im 19 and I feel the same thing. Ive been training jiu jitsu for 7 months, Im kinda new but Im learning really fast, and I recognize my talent thats why i took my learning to a higher level, extremely paying attention to detail, being scientific, intellectual stuff like that lol. My parents have been supportive financially but they Do Not like it. thats why i googled this topic,and read your blog. I feel that theres weight on my shoulders whenever I try to excel because I feel its for nothing. When I said excel, its mostly when i try to beat the higher belts, become assertive, dominate, go for finishes. It frustrates me most of the time, I become very inconsistent like literally theres these "chains" that holds me down, I would honestly have these spurts and then suddenly slow down. But then again when I stop thinking about the issue, I get in that zone where winning only matters. Im 19 and my parents are "very asians". A part of me says i love them, but another feel theyre strangers.
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